Top Films of 2001 I Would Literally Kill To See...
Harry here. Since basically I pride
myself on ruining everyone’s good time, here’s the
top nine list of 2001. Yes, this is going on half-finished
scripts, poster boards of scenes and gossip, but then, isn’t
that what it’s all about? In no particular order:
1. The Al Jolson Story - Spike Lee
does an amazing remake. Though I must admit, the scene with
Wesley Snipes in black-face is a little confusing. Spike insists
that just because he had an all-black cast play an all-Jewish
family doesn’t mean he’s partial. “I just pick
the best actor for the role. Don’t tell me Robert Guillaume
can’t play an over-protective, buxom, Yiddish-spouting
mama, ‘cause he can!” said Lee.
2. Baseball - Kevin Costner plays
baseball.
3. I Won’t Fight, Unless You
Kill Something I Love - In the final movie of an unintended
trilogy (see Braveheart and The Patriot for more details),
Mel Gibson says he won’t fight Hitler because he has
goldfish to look after. When Gibby comes home to find all
of his Pepperidge farm snack has been eaten, it’s a vengeful
“Mein Kampf, Mein Ass!”
4. Batman, Go Away - Finally, they
get it right, letting Ed Asner have the honors as the caped
crusader. I don’t know where Lou Grant’s been, but
I’m glad he’s back. Having run out of villains from
the old comic, they’re forced to use 13-year-old shoplifters.
I’ll never forget the scene where Batman kicks Tommy
Beecham’s ass for stealing those Blow Pops. Damn you,
Tommy. Damn you.
5. Gumby and the Goomba - Pixar has
done it again. Claymation and Mafia finally come together
in a tale about a six-inch lawyer fighting to defend his wop
client. Those conferences they have in the pokey are unforgettable.
6. Michael Jackson - The former Browns
wide receiver comes to grips with the fact he has the same
name as a freak.
7. Smelly Body - A family goes up
to visit their late uncle and finds out why I referred to
him as their “late” uncle. Plot really twists as
they realize how bad he smells. You’d think it would
be “Weekend at Bernie’s 2”-like but it’s
not. Much more “Weekend at Bernie’s 1”-like.
8. Facts of Life, The Motion Picture
- You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both,
and there you have…I think you can fill in the rest on
your own. For me, this is a shining moment, I always loved
Mrs. Garrett. They brought back the original cast, which includes
the little remembered Sue from the first season. Man, remember
her in Sassoon?
9. Everything Cory - Cory Haim and
Cory Feldman. It works.
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