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Uncomfortable Situations
Lately it seems like U.S.A. is short for Uncomfortable Situations
Abroad...So I thought I'd take a moment to review the top
eight uncomfortable situations domestically:
1) You have sex with a woman and you yell
out, "Who's your daddy?!" Later you learn the
woman's mother was artificially inseminated...Uncomfortable
situations.
2) You tell your aunt you'd give your left
tit to go to the Jets game. Your aunt then tells you she
just had a double mastectomy... Uncomfortable situations.
3) Your wife wants to name your baby "Brian."
But your last name is Cider... Uncomfortable situations.
4) You make fun of the Valtrex commercials.
Your faithful girlfriend has a sudden interest in canoeing...Uncomfortable
situations.
5) You're a cannibal. Turns out the people
you're staying with are vegetarians...Uncomfortable situations.
6) You think your boyfriend is going to make
you an Amsterdam dish. Turns out he meant something else
by "Dutch Oven"... Uncomfortable situations.
7) You go to the doctor for a rectal examination.
He says when he uses gloves it "just doesn't feel the
same"...Uncomfortable situations.
8) You ask if you can have the day off for
Yom Kippur. Your first name is Adolf...Uncomfortable situations.
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