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Long Lick O'My Cone
• White chocolate and nuts surrounded
by a sweetened swirl.
Fudge Surprise
• Ice cream with brownies, nuts, corn.
Our Little Secret
• Has a secret amount of gumballs! But
sssshhhh. Don't tell anyone how many!
My Milkshake Brings all the
Boys to the Yard
• Available in chocolate and vanilla.
Damn right, they're better than yours.
Sweet dreams
• Chocolate ice cream laced with sleeping
pills
I'm Going to Stick a Finger
Directly up your Butt
• Let's can the euphamisms and get down
to some lovin!
When will these Michael Jackson
jokes ever end?
• God, hopefully never!
Aren't Michael Jackson jokes
a little tired?
• You bet they are! But they're our top
sellers, so apparently you guys can't get
enough of them, no matter how much you complain
about their redundancy!
Oh, so this is our fault?
• Yep. In fact, this whole media frenzy
is your fault. They're only going after what
sells. And Michael Jackson's Ice Cream sells
baby! So how about another scoop of Jackon's
popcorn flavored surprise? The surprise is
that it gets stuck in your throat.
You make me sick
• Yeah, but if you chuckled--even
slightly--then you're an accomplice, aren't
you? Aren't you just encouraging assholes
like me? And in a way, aren't you encouraging
the countless talking heads to endlessly speculate
about whether or not Jackson molested a little
child--a child, by the way, who's dying? And
in the end, aren't you just as bad as he is?
No, not at all.
• Yeah, you're right. I'm just trying
to make myself feel better by passing blame
onto you.
So, can we just forget about
all this and have a scoop of Creamy Handjob?
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