Email from Loyal Fan | Proof I'm Innocent | Revenge is a Dish Best Served on English China
 

 

Dear Sam Waksal,

I hope you're enjoying the comfort of your prison cell and the comfort of your ass buddies. Ever since you ratted me out, I've been thinking of you. But now you're far away from the terrible, awful, horrible things I'd do to you if I could. I've made a list, in fact:

1) Glaze your testicles in a sherry wine reduction

2) Arrange his tweezed-off nipples with gourds, winter squash and indian corn in a delightful autumn planter

3) Thoughtfully place rosemary and basil leaves needles into your holed out eye sockets. What did I do with your eyes? Check your ass, you'll find out.

4) I've got a cheese grater that would look so quaint hanging off of your genitals.

5) Speaking of your ass, have I ever told you that I make my own turkey stuffing?

Love,

Martha

 

 

 

 

A LostBrain Parody