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I hope you're
enjoying the comfort of your prison cell and the comfort
of your ass buddies. Ever since you ratted me out,
I've been thinking of you. But now you're far away
from the terrible, awful, horrible things I'd do to
you if I could. I've made a list, in fact:
1) Glaze your testicles in a sherry
wine reduction
2) Arrange his tweezed-off nipples with
gourds, winter squash and indian corn in a delightful
autumn planter
3) Thoughtfully place rosemary and basil
leaves needles into your holed out eye sockets. What
did I do with your eyes? Check your ass, you'll find
out.
4) I've got a cheese grater that would
look so quaint hanging off of your genitals.
5) Speaking of your ass, have I ever
told you that I make my own turkey stuffing?
Love,
Martha
A
LostBrain Parody
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