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What to Get for the Couple that Has
Everything
In case you haven't heard, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez
are getting married soon. If you're like us, you've been
wondering what's on their gift registry. We found it, at
Sotheby's.
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Item
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Wants
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Recieved
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Comments
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Shroud of Jesus
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2 |
1 |
We need the perfect rug for our summer
home. |
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Picasso's Guernica
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3 |
0 |
Please, only the original. No knockoffs. |
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Microsoft
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1 |
0 |
Just because we don't understand how to
turn on a computer doesn't mean we can't own one |
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Keebler Elves
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5 |
2 |
It's so hard to find good help these days. |
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5 Bunn 10-cup Coffeemaker
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1 |
0 |
Don't be fooled by the Mr. Coffee that
I got. |
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Small island
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4 |
2 |
Prefer Pacific Islands, but beggars can't
be choosers. |
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Sky
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1 |
0 |
Nice piece sky needed to decorate area
above our house in upstate New York |
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Matt Damon
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1 |
0 |
We just want him to kiss our asses. Who
are you marrying, punk? |
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Decent Script
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1 |
0 |
We haven't had one these in a few years.
Bonus points if it's a script where Ben is admiring
J Lo's ass for five minutes on screen.
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-Brandon Stahl
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