Sentence Me, Baby

Former Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee, on probation for spousal abuse, recently proposed settling his punishment by performing concerts at military bases around the world. Inspired by Lee, other celebrities-turned-criminals are proposing their own sentences for crimes past and present:

Robert Blake, charged with the May 2001 murder of his wife, offered to perform in the next Jerry Lewis Telethon with Fred, his cockatoo from hit series “Baretta”

O.J. Simpson, cleared of criminal charges in the 1995 slayings of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman, volunteered to serve as the next bachelor on CBS’s “The Bachelor”

Winona Ryder, accused of swiping almost $6,000 worth of merchandise at Saks Fifth Avenue in Beverly Hills, would “do time” as a consumer advocate for FOX affiliates throughout Iowa

Anna Nicole Smith, guilty of marrying a man 63 years her senior for profit, proposed starring in her own reality television show

Todd Bridges, acquitted in 1990 after being accused of shooting a crack dealer, would serve as a guest on Hollywood Squares until he’s regained the public’s respect

Danny Bonaduce, convicted of assaulting and robbing a transvestite prostitute in 1991, proposed fixing up the Partridge Family bus for a reunion tour

R. Kelly, who pleaded not guilty to 21 counts of child pornography, offered to teach a high school sex education curriculum focusing on how naughty, naughty girls have sex on tape with adults

John Frieda, arrested for air rage, offered to give Ozzy Osbourne a free age-appropriate haircut

David Hassellhoff proposed bringing his international rock star fame to the United States as punishment for being so goddamn cute

- By Cara O'Flynn