Barry White is Black!

Fans were horrifed to learn Barry White was actually black. The "Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe" singer apologized to his following, insisting he never wanted to be misleading. "Back in the 70's, you couldn't get a deal at Motown if they knew you were black," White said. "I thought changing the last name would throw them off." White, whose real surname is "Militantfreehuey," admitted this was the worst case of music misconception since Marvin Gaye copped to being heterosexual.

-Eric Butterman