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In a public statement, Madonna admitted she didn't have sex last Tuesday. "I
was really busy," the "Like a Virgin" crooner said, citing housework
as a leading cause. "Do you know how hard it is to get to that shit underneath
the refrigerator?" The pop star vowed to be back in the saddle Wednesday,
proclaiming an important lesson had been learned. "I won't be going that
long without intercourse again. This kind of unfortunate inconsistency will only
lead to knowing who the father of your child is."
-Eric Butterman
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