Jimmy had many hos.

A Star Is Porn

A lot of people don't know that Jimmy Stewart almost considered being a porn star instead of just a star. With that in mind, I thought I'd take a look at the adult movies he would have been in:

1) "Mr. Smith Does Washington" - Instead of being against Joseph Payne, Jimmy enjoys the pain, bending over in the lap of the statue of Abe Lincoln. Four whore and seven inches ago...

2) "It's a Wonderful Lube" - That damn Mr. Potter has bought out all the Vaseline! They're about to close the Bailey Savings and Lubricant! Our hero Engorged Bailey runs in, "Me and Mary saved for our honeymoon! We have enough love lotion for every hole in town!"

3) "The Man Who Shit on Liberty Valance" - In a time when men used guns, one man used buns.

4) "The Greatest Blow on Earth" - Buttons was a clown. Buttons went down. And you wonder why an elephant
never forgets.

5) "Squirtigo" - If you got that shit in your eye, you'd be seeing weird, too.

- Eric Butterman