"Who Will Win the Fame/Death Lottery?"

Everyone knew Gregory Peck was. Katherine Hepburn certainly was. But Gloria Stuart and "Facts of Life"'s Mindy Cohn aren't so sure. That's why they may be praying for senseless sweet death. Everyone knows famous people die in threes, so should Stuart or Cohn die in the next 120 hours then they'll finally know two things: first, they're dead and second, and most importantly, they're famous.

Toodies don't have to worry about this sort of thing. Neither do Schneiders with tool belts and precursors to the Gap vest. But when you're mostly known for blowing the easiest sympathy Oscar victory in history and for being the "really, really, really, fat one" on a long-running sitcom the fame thing isn't as clear.

Should Cohn die on a gallon of chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate chip or should Stuart finally die from the embarrassment of blowing the easiest sympathy Oscar victory in history, then they've got a case. Hell, if they should go with a double suicide love note then I think the only right thing to do is for them to automatically be declared famous and for us to all give a very loud "Ewwwww! Fat and old! Ewwwww! Fat and old!" However, should they individually off their maybe famous selves then we'd really have to think about it.

Regardless, the theme to "Fame" may have said, "I'm gonna live forever," but then why did Debbie Allen recently buy that length of rope?