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You see that a movie is advertised
as "gut-wrenching," "heart-breaking,"
"breath-taking" and you think, "Whoa,
I don't want to subject myself to that. I can't endure
anything that will wrench my gut, break my heart,
take my breath. Nope, that's not entertainment to
me."
Wimp. Pussy. Gene Shalit.
Human tragedy has much to teach us.
Even human tragedy found in movie theaters. I saw
cinema's latest tragedy-fests: "21 Grams"
and "House of Sand and Fog" in one day,
back to back. That takes an iron stomach. Cojones.
A jumbo popcorn. But I'm a better person for it.
Okay, so I was prepared. After seeing
the previews, I knew someone was going to die in both
films. The surprise was I hadn1t guessed right, who
or how.
Another surprise: In "Grams,"
Sean Penn plays a fairly normal guy, although with
a dramatic medical condition and unbelievable circumstances.
He's a mathematics professor. Low-key, charming. I'm
thinking, maybe he'll finally get offered the next
"Cheaper by the Dozen."
Lesson learned: Either you survive or
you flat-line.
Within two minutes of the start of "Fog,"
I knew Jennifer Connelley was trouble. "Cry baby!"
I yelled at the screen. "You look like Jennifer
Connelley, fer Chrissake! How bad could your life
turn out? You're ruining it for eveyone else!"
I wanted to slap her until her well-shaped eyebrows
fell off.
Lesson learned: Open your mail, no
matter how depressed you are.
Yeah, well, the performances. "Fog's"
Ben Kingsley blahblahblah Oscar. Sean Penn blahblahblah
Oscar.
But Benecio Del Torres in "Grams,"
not mumbling, not affecting a speech defect or Latin
accent... I heard every word, Benecio, and I really
appreciate that.
Lesson learned: The jumbo popcorn is
a good value.
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