Mars Needs Men
Mankind's quest to conquer Mars:
Inappropriately captioned with lyrics from David Bowie songs

"Under Pressure!" Scientists on earth cram bursting quantities of liquid fuels into a large cylindrical object until the noxious substances can no longer be contained. The rocket is ignited for blastoff, pointed directly at its target:
"Life on Mars?" Yes Mars, that sweet orb of possible life-cradling goodness. Perhaps Eden of the solar system. Perhaps?
"Floating in a most peculiar way" After thrusting for what seems like days, (but in reality is mere minutes), the rocket will deliver its precious payload into the vast creaminess of outer space. Next stop: Mars.
"I'm afraid of Americans" Yes, Mars. Steamy, water-impregnated, frigid. That sweet orb of possible life-cradling goodness. Perhaps Eden of the solar system. Perhaps?
"I think my spaceship knows which way to go." The probe next must enter Mars' thick atmosphere—not an easy task. Many of mankind's probes have tried and failed this step. The Brits have been especially unsuccessful.
"Cha-Cha-Cha-Changes" On the planet's surface, the probe transforms into a sweet set of wheels with bitching rims.
"Keep your electric eye on me, babe." Seeing out life on Mars, the rovers, (Opportunity and Spirit) will drill, image, sample, and do just about anything to penetrate that strange fertile Martian surface.

By Travis Daub