Trust is Earned
Hi, I'm Daniel Staley. At
the firm of Staley, Stuart & Banks,
we have one priority: getting you the greatest
return on your investments.
We know how much you value your money. You've
worked hard for it. You deserve the peace
of mind in being able to trust an investment
firm with a solid reputation. And since
1975 that's exactly what we've built.
We don't see you as a client, but as a partner
in our growth. That's why we'll never masturbate
to your money. No matter how you much give
us, no matter how much we earn.
Several investment firms say
they won't masturbate to your money. But
the moment you turn your back they stuff
as much of it as they can down their pants
and run to the nearest bathroom stall.
But we won't do that.
Because we don't even own a bathroom.
Trust is our biggest asset
I'm Cason Stuart. When we
started this firm almost 30 years ago, we
knew that to last we'd have to do things
differently. We made the client our number
one priority, not the money. We strived
to not just be a source of capital for our
clients, but a partner able to provide innovative
ideas and creative solutions to whatever
problems arise.
And unlike other investment firms, at Staley,
Stuart & Banks, we won't lie naked in
piles and piles of your money. We won't
swim around in it or pour maple syrup over
it and stick it to our genitals.
Because at Staley, Stuart & Banks, we
don't have genitals.
Nothing is more important that trust
Hi, I'm Donald Banks. When
Daniel, Cason and I began the firm so long
ago, my friends asked me: what will make
you guys different?
My answer: trust. You don't know what other
firms are doing with your money. They probably
put putty around your money and mold it
in the form of a vagina just to have sex
with it.
But you can trust us to make
solid investments in proven stocks and companies.
Back when we started this firm, I cut off
my penis, as well as Daniel's and Cason's,
to make sure of that.
At Staley, Stuart &
Banks, our only interest is your money.
Can your investment firm
say that?
