Announcing LostBrain's First Annual
Humor Writing Contest!

These funny people are entering right now.

Think you're funny?

Yes you do. You're very funny. You walk into a party and people proclaim: "The party can start. The funny person is here." And the party starts. And you regale the partygoers with your humorous ways. The party ends when you go home, or you puke on the sofa.

Now it's time to take your party-starting skills to LostBrain.com. Enter our First Annual Humor Writing Contest by sending in a humorous submission, which can be any length, about any topic, in any language. So long as its funny. And you wrote it.

If you're the funniest partygoer, you will win a 15 second phone call from a celebrity, courtesy of HollywoodisCalling.com.

Second place is a set of steak knives.

Third place is you're fired.

Ten things to know about this contest:

1) We don't want Onion-style headline articles. "Humor site considers itself too good to run headline parodies, runs pictures of hermaphrodites instead."

2) When you send your submission, please put HUMOR SUBMISSION CONTEST in the subject line. Put it in big, bold CAPITAL letters. The email address here gets so much spam that if you don't put it in big, bold capital letters we will completely miss it.

3) Similarly, if you put "Enlarge your penis" in the subject line, we will be disappointed that you provided a humor article and not a way to enlarge our penis.

4) Yes, that last sentence was grammatically correct.

5) We were kidding about the steak knives, but we're very serious about this writing contest—the awards, the Celebrity Phone Call, the firings.

6) If you win the contest, you can choose from any celebrity listed on HollywoodisCalling.com.

7) If we won the contest, we would pick John De Lancie. We liked Q.

8) Contest begins on Aug. 18 and ends on Aug. 24. Contest winners announced Aug. 26 when we publish your article. Steak knife winners will also be published.

9) Click here to send your entry.

10) Any questions, click here and put HUMOR SUBMISSION CONTEST QUESTIONS in the subject line.

11) Thank you.