Ordinance such as this should fit conveniently into overhead bins, or else you'll suffer the consequences.

Alarming Security Breaches
Don't Set off Alarming Alarms

Want to hijack your very own airplane, but not sure you'll have the weaponry to do it?

Don't fret: USA Today recently reported that screeners at 32 of the largest airports across the U.S. are failed to spot even the most obvious potential weapons—once again raising concerns that airport security might not be equipped to guard America's airports and W.H. Smith Bookstores.

LostBrain decided to put these claims to the test, and what we found was frightening, if not even a little erotic. With only the slightest bit of planning, we were able to sneak the deadliest weapons onboard any flight. What we found might turn you on, too:

An M-16 machine gun. Getting these onto a plane wasn't a problem at all. In fact, the real problem was that we smuggled too many of them onboard. We had so many machine guns that we were unable to fit them securely into our overhead compartments or in the seats in front of us, thus causing the attendant to mace and ask us to leave the plane.

So how'd we do it? A two step process: First, stuff the gun under an overcoat. Second, if the metal detector goes off (which it probably won't, despite the gun being made of a metal-like substance) just tell the security guard "I've got five dollars for you to keep quiet about this." Problem solved, and, most importantly, plane hijacked.

Two viscous, trained-to-kill Rottweilers Our dogs even came equipped with plastic explosives as choke chains and had "trained to eat your intestines" tattooed on their backs. Difficult to get them past screeners, right? Wrong. To sneak these pups onboard, we used a walking stick and a pair of sunglasses, claiming blindness. When the one time
that didn't work, we told the screener that the dogs were merely gifts for our daughter dying of cancer back home, eagerly awaiting to eat her. With a heart filled with joy, the screener gladly let them through.

Bazookas. Unfortunately, security did notice these as we tried to make it through the detectors. However, because they said that they really pose no threat onboard an airplane, they let us through with them. Security was right: it was too crowded inside the plane to load and fire the bazooka.

O.J. Simpson. The world's most deadly killer might be banned from all airports, but that didn't stop us from getting him onboard an airplane. How we did it: stuffed him in a suitcase lined with explosives. Security missed them each and every time, often looking the other way when the baggage went through the X-ray machine. And the best part about it: we had someone to talk to on those long flights to Senegal.

Osama Bin Laden. The world's most wanted man shouldn't be onboard any flight taking off from the US, right? How could we possibly get him past even the dumbest screener? Easy, actually. By covering his face with grenades, no one seemed to recognize him.

A Russian MiG Fighter Jet. You might think that a plane this size might be difficult to conceal, and admittedly this was a tricky one to smuggle onboard. But with the right amount of shaving cream, skin care conditioner and socks covering up the plane, the x-ray machine and screener didn't notice the jet underneath. A word of caution, however:
make sure the jet's engine is turned off. (Note, this method may also be effective for a M1-Abrams Main Battle Tank.)

- By Brandon Stahl

Refer this page to another reader: