Friendly, old-sounding narrator: Son, did you know that George Dubbyah Bush intends to take away your social security, raise your taxes, and exhume and rape the body of your dead, beloved grandma and pa'?

I spoke with Senator John McCain, a nice man. An honest, decent, hardworkin' son-of-a-gun who served over 70 years of his life in the military, fighting and dyin' for his country. Then he spent another few years being anally raped by angry Vietnamese children. Senator McCain knows what America is all about. That's why I'm putting my vote, and my daughter to work for him.

Serious, Intelligent Voice: Senator John McCain for President. Because when he did drugs it was to relieve the pain of his existence.

*paid for by the people to elect Al Gore*