1. "Hey, I meant 'gook' in a good way."
   
   
2. "Yeah?! Well, how many NBA championships did you win, pussy?!"
   
   
3. "I never said I invented the Internet. But, did you ever hear of a little something called the Palm Pilot..."
   
   
4. "No, for the last time, being a Reagan Republican doesn't mean I have Alzheimer's... Oh, well, then what was your question?"
   
   
5. "Hey, I meant 'faggots' in a good way."
   
   
6. "Seriously, my dad really was President."
   
   
7. "Did I mention I was imprisoned in Vietnam?"
   
   
8. "You going to eat that?"
   
   
9. "...and that's why I'm against literacy. C'mon, is it really so hard to put your garbage in a trash can?!"
   
   
10. "I picked but I never swallowed... Oh, you said 'pot?' I thought you said 'snot.'"
    
    
11. "She was young. She needed the money."
    
    
12. "My opponent chooses to run negative ads because I won't. What kind of shithead does crap like that?"
    
    
13. "Clinton can't run for a third term, so you're just going to have to pick one of us, dickface!"

Happy voting!

-Eric Butterman