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What's Dick Hiding?
Vice President Dick Cheney has been sued over his refusal to
turn over records from his meetings last year with top energy
industry executives. We may never know what he's still hiding,
but the following partially shredded items were found in a dumpster
outside the U.S. Naval Observatory last month:
- Solicitation from Enron regarding investments in Lord Vader
and Dark Side partnerships.
- Credit card receipts from fact-finding trips to the Slippery
Banana in Houston.
- Presidential clemency pricelist (full pardon for a $1 million
Bush library donation; $100,000 for transfer to luxurious low-security
federal pen in Florida).
- Draft of Lynne Cheney novel, "One Heartbeat Away," in which
the president is incapacitated by tainted snack foods.
- Transcript of Dick Cheney's Feb. 22, 2001 meeting with industry
executives at which Enron CEO Jeffrey Skilling jokes about the
California energy crisis. ("Imagine Hollywood without hair-dryers,"
and "Hope their hair-dryers run on carrot juice.")
- Outline of Enron-CIA plan to drive up energy prices by controlling
the weather.
- Blurry 2000 GOP convention photos of Dick Cheney sharing
tequila shots with the Bush twins.
- Letter from President Bush offering to let Enron use the
White House for its Christmas party, with hand-written note:
"Kenny-boy, mi castle es su castle."
- Draft of Lynne Cheney screenplay, "The Body Electric,"
in which the vice president's wife--left alone after her husband
moves to an undisclosed secure location--arranges her own top-secret
meetings with energy executives.
-Ted Allen
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