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Coming In A Little Short

On Tuesday, the Whitehouse acknowledged that the budget deficit was ballooning out of control. It has now reached $455 billion and climbing. However they were quick to point out that:

Budget projections for 2004 are based on information obtained from British intelligence, so it’s all likely horseshit anyway.
The shortfall should be partially covered by the sale of that extra enriched uranium stockpile to some guy in Saudi Arabia.
The Department of Defense gift shop has reported that total sales of the 55 most wanted Iraqis playing cards have brought in anywhere from $15 to $20.
We just invaded Iraq. Iraq has a shit load of oil. Oil costs something like $20 for just one barrel. Bonus.
Whitehouse press secretary Ari Fleicher’s replacement, Scott McClellan will have to start at the bottom of the pay scale, saving the executive branch valuable wages.
Remember that money we’re sending Africa to fight aids? How much does it cost to cancel a check?
The White House is seriously considering forcing three of the nine supreme court judges into early retirement.
Washington provokes North Korea. North Korea nukes California. Washington collects the insurance money.
Scott McClellan is short, but people seem to like him anyway.

By Travis Daub

 

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