Blame U.S.

government > complaints > blame the government

Congratulations on choosing to blame the government for your problems!

You've found the only place on the Web that allows you to blame your local and federal government for everything that's gone wrong with your life, because you've realized that blaming others or even yourself is fruitless. The reason you've got so many problems—job, health, relationships, money, state of mind—is us. It's all our fault. We're responsible, and we know it.

Now's your chance to take it out on us.

For years we've done you wrong, haven't we? We've taken and taken and taken and we've never asked if it was okay and we've certainly never given any of it back. And we've never once apologized for any of it, have we? We've only given you nothing but trouble and heartache, and you don't deserve that. We've treated you like a second class citizen.

We've pushed you when you didn't need to be -- you would have worked hard on your own. You deserve to be treated with decency and respect. That's all you've ever asked for, right? That's the way you'd treat us.

And in those moments when you've broken down and come to us to ask for our help, what do we do? That's right, nothing. We just ignore you and treat someone else with more respect, giving them all the breaks in life. Just because they're younger or richer or more attractive or have better bloodlines, right? No, it's true. That's what we, the U.S. government, have done to you.

It's all our fault that you had to move back in with your parents, isn't it? We're the reason you haven't had a date since the early 80s. We understand that now.

We're here to be blamed.

We're the reason you're critically overweight and have a devastating overbite. We're the reason you're paid far less than you're worth. And you're worth a lot. You've been working for a long, long time.

We're the United States government, and we're ready to accept our responsibilty for your failure.

-Brandon Stahl