Liberals, like, Suck!

Liberals are so, like, Gross!

Book Excerpt, "Treason" by Ann Coulter:

Page 104:

"In summary, like, liberals have committed several, um, terrible crimes over the past 100 years, ya' know, but oh my god, if I were forced by a liberal at gun point to come up with a top ten list of crimes that, like, liberals have committed, I'd SO make say it was this:

10) Making it so that Bobby Simmons wouldn't ask me out to the Junior dance. I just don't know why he asked that Liberal Katie "I'm a Liberal" Fleischman!

9) They made Cheese Wiz. Actually, Republicans made it so good, but liberals made it so fattening. I swear, I have to barf for a week after I eat it or I gain a pound!

8) Mr. Sangterium, my principal. He just so would have never came to power if it weren't for the liberal media.

7) Hitler. Ditto

6) Cell phone commercials. Yeah, did you know that cellphone companies made entertaining commercials? It's true! Liberals stepped in and made them all annoying! Ugh!

5) My dad. He just won't let me get my own phone line, and that's ALL the Liberals fault.

4) Banning me from the cheerleading team.

3) The Challenger disaster. Okay, so check this out: Did you know that Liberals wanted the shuttle to blow up so that the liberal media could make millions reporting on the disaster? It's true, but you didn't know that because the liberal media covered it up.

2) Doing such an effective job of covering up the liberal media.

1) Duh: Just being liberals.

So, now I'm going to come up with a list of like 500 things that liberals do that are just SO annoying, like this liberal in my Spanish class that drinks water from a bottle and thinks he's just so cool and I'm like "Liberal! Stop being such a liberal! And drink from a fountain like the rest of us, Liberal!..."

-Brandon Stahl