Estimates hold that there are at least 2,000 priests in the U.S. who have been accused of sexually molesting young boys, a staggering number that rises with each issue of the New York Times.

LostBrain, an organization driven to gain profit from the suffering of others, wants to help this group of 2,000 by reaching out to their vast, untapped pool of bank accounts. We racked our brains and realized that since the dawn of time, priests who like to sleep with boys have gone without their own magazine. That is, until now....

Now available in the Vatican Gift Shop!

Check out some of our articles below:

*Subscribers must be registered on community sex-offender lists.

Cherubic Altar Boy Pick-Up Lines
Guaranteed to get your wick dipped

OH MY GOD!
Priests share their most em-bare-ass-ing caught in the act moments!

If This Confessional's A Rockin'
How to do the deed and confess all in the same wicked motion

Nun Too Bright
What to do with that little stool-pigeon bitch that keeps squealing on you

Cover-Up Cardinals
Is the flock getting suspicious? These five Cardinal cover-up artists will conceal your seed no matter how dirty your deeds

Wanking to Walt
The secret pleasures of watching the "Wholesome" Disney Channel

Ask Father Sphincter
Where do I meet young Mr. Right?

Cardinal Egan's Corner
Hey, don't worry about it! Everything's gonna be all right! Okay? I'll take care of it—no one's ever gonna find out anything. You worry too much!

Swimwear 2002:
Wrestling in the Baptismal Pool? (Oh God, that makes us hot just thinking about it!) Here are the summers hottest Speedos!

Hot FROCKS!
What to wear when you're defrocked

Is What We're Doing Wrong?
Should we be molesting little girls too?

At Least We're Not Scientologists
by Archbishop Frank Meyers

Holy Hiding Places!
Gotta hide out somewhere for a few years? Try one of these five forest preserves

Exploring the Holy Trinity:
Try a three-way this spring— Father, Son and Holy *@%#!

Getting Biblical
An in-depth look at the parts of the scripture that say it's okay to molest young boys... and then pay them to keep it a shameful secret that will ruin the rest of their lives

This Month's Quiz:
Does that catechism cadet have a crush on you?

Pope Creates Three Strikes / Gropes Rule
His Holiness cracks down, sort of...or at least he wants you to keep your cracks down

Report from the Hansen Concert
Spooge, spooge, everywhere!

That's Not Holy Water!
Did you notice it was a little milky last Sunday?

Doin' it Doggy Style:
An interview with PP's hottie of the month, Lil' Bow Wow

One Priest's Startling Confession:
I've actually kept my vow of chastity! Seriously!

Hot Haley Joel
What's on his mind—and more importantly, what's in his pants? His not-so-little secret

True Lies:
"I was just testing this young man for a hernia" and ten other lines that will get you off the hook

Father Tim's Advice:
Turning the trust of a young boy into the best blowjob of your life

PLUS:
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