Winners and Losers

Who won and lost during the NFL draft? Draft guru Mel Kiper Jr. debates it with a starving Nigerian child:

 

Mel Kiper Jr.	Hungry Nigerian Child

Kiper: You gotta start with the Ravens, landing the draft's premiere pure pass rusher in Terrell Suggs and then getting the quarterback they wanted in Kyle Boller. Though you can count me among those that think Boller was a bit overrated coming into the draft, whose lack of accuracy is a concern but with his speed and toughness he could develop into a solid NFL quarterback.

Nigerian Child: What is this draft you speak of? And this Terrell Suggs and Kyle Boller, who are they?

Kiper: I also think the Detroit Lions had a great first two rounds, getting the receiver they desperately needed in the flashy playmaker Charles Rogers, who has that rare combination of speed, receiving skills and athletic ability that could make him a perrenial pro-bowl caliber athlete. The Lions also took the best linebacker in the draft in the undersized but speedy Boss Bailey. Those two could be impact players for years to come.

Child: Please tell me what we are talking about. I was told that if I won this argument that the rebels holding my mother would let her live.

Kiper: Looking for the biggest loser in the draft I go first to the Arizona Cardinals. Coming into the weekend needing to pick up a pass rusher, they passed on the premiere one available in the draft in Suggs and instead traded the pick for two guys they could have taken in the second round.

Child: Why are you ignoring me? Please, it is imperative that you help me understand what we are talking about. My mother's life depends on it.

Kiper: I think the Buffalo Bills also made a huge reach with Willis McGahee. Instead of addressing needs at defensive line and in their secondary, they took the Miami Hurricane running back that may have rushed back too quickly from torn knee ligaments.

Child: I'm sitting right next to you, there's no need to shout. You talk about these people as if they are meat, is that what we are discussing?

Kiper: I also have to wonder about the decisions made by the Chicago Bears. They passed on a great quarterback Byron Leftwich and a terrific run-stopper in DeWayne Robertson in a trade that looked to me like a cost cutting move. However, they were able to take Rex Grossman, who I believe with his solid intangibles and strong arm should give him a fine career.

Child: Why are you touching yourself?

Kiper: Surprisingly, The team that I score the best in the draft are the Cinncinatti Bengals. They wisely took the draft's best player in Carson Palmer, who I graded to be better than David Carr and Joey Harrington a year ago. Palmer has a cannon for an arm and great innate sense in the pocket. They then took one of the draft's best guards in Iowa's Eric Steinbach, a solid offensive lineman who with a top athletic body and a quick, explosive reactions and movement. Add to that the potential for the mostexplosive player in the draft in wide receiver Kelley Washington, who has tremendous upside with great athletic ability, quickness and outstanding hand-eye coordination. Perhaps this team is ready to turn their fortunes around.

Child: Can I please have a part of that hamburger you're eating? I have not eaten in days.

Kiper: Looking to the future, the one wild card team are the Kansas City Chiefs. If Larry Johnson can improve his speed and pass-catching
ability, he could be the steal of the draft. In the third round they found Julian Battle, the safety out of Tennesse, whose athletic upside
and football instincts make him an intriguing prospect.

Child: I really want to go home now. Can this please stop?

Kiper: I'm Mel Kiper Jr., ESPN.

by Brandon Stahl