The INCREDIBLE HULK Goes to a Cubs Game
(and he's still a right-wing conservative)

The HULK on parking in Wrigleyville:
HANDICAPPED PARKING PERFECT FIT FOR HULK BUICK!

The HULK on tickets:
HULK NO PAY SCALPERS FOR TICKETS. HULK TAKE SCALPER’S WELFARE AWAY!

The HULK on the "friendly confines":
EVERY SEAT GOOD VIEW FOR HULK

The HULK on the National Anthem:
NATIONAL ANTHEM BRING TEAR TO HULK EYE

The HULK on refreshments:
HULK NO PAY $5 FOR OLD STYLE!

The HULK on the curse of the goat:
GOAT KIND OF FREAK OUT HULK

The HULK on the 7th Inning Stretch:
TAKE HULK OUT TO BALL GAME. TAKE HULK OUT TO CROWD.
BUY HULK PEANUTS. BUY HULK CRACKER JACKS.
BUY THEM NOW OR HULK GET MAAAAAAD!!!!

The HULK on ballpark food:
HULK WANT HOT DOG NOT RESEMBLE PENIS!

The HULK on Harey Carey:
CAREY NEVER PRONOUNCE HULK NAME RIGHT!

The HULK on rooftop seating:
ROOFTOP SEATING SCREW TRIBUNE COMPANY. HULK SMASH!

The HULK on uniforms:
HULK AROUSED BY BASEBALL PANTS

The HULK on the outfield bleachers:
HULK NO THROW BACK HOMERUN BALL. BALL HULK FRIEND! ARRRR!

The HULK on next year:
SOCIAL SECURITY SURPLUS BUY SEASON TICKET NEXT YEAR FOR HULK!

By Brandon Stahl and Travis Daub

Don't Miss:
HULK HATE BIG GOVERNMENT!